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Posts Tagged ‘air’

Release

It’s been like breathing under water this last year. There were moments of panic, feeling the air leave my lungs and frantically looking for something to fill me with oxygen, if just for a few moments more. I would grope desperately for this or that, thinking this would be finally be the thing that saved me. At last I had found a way out of this underwater hell. I would finally be able to breath again; the panic would subside and I would find my way to the surface.

But every new idea I grasped would elate me for minutes, maybe days, before dissolving in my fingers. More ideas swirled just beyond my finger tips, glimmering in the water, offering the hope that this next one would lead the way to salvation. Yet, the glimmers proved only to reflected light without light itself; ideas that reflected my desires, without actually meeting them.

It may appear that this last desire, to return to school and become a librarian, is just one more desperate grasp in the dark. Yet that is not the case. This glimmer I reached for and found not an air bubble in my hand, but instead I found my hand bursting through the surface, reaching higher into the air. I found not a few minutes of air, but at last a release into the wide open air. Finally, I find I can breath again.

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