Posts Tagged ‘cysts’

Or so you might think given the number of times I’ve been to see a doctor or have a procedure in recent weeks. The number of times is going up rapidly and is now a weekly thing, sometimes twice a week! I’ll be going to see the doctor again on monday and depending on what he thinks, I’ll be going back for a follow-up within days, for a procedure within weeks, and possibly for surgery within a month.

I was talking to my sister about doctors the other day. We both enjoy the show “House” and were discussing how nice it would be to have a doctor as brilliant as the main character it is. It’s hard, Ellen was saying, because you forget that doctors are only human. They don’t have all the answers, they can’t automatically tell what’s wrong with a person, sometimes they don’t even know what tests to have done.

I too fail to realize this sometimes. I want the doctor to tell me the problem and have the solution, like I’m a math problem waiting to be solved; just insert the numbers for x and y and an answer will pop out after a certain amount of work. Instead, I’m a theoretical problem. I’m a problem where x and y are unknown and continue to remain unknown, since the doctors aren’t even sure how to solve for x. When they do it appears that x=y, both being unknown, thus leading us back to the beginning. So the only way to fix me is through good old fashioned trial and error.

But that’s another problem: I think of myself, my health as something to be fixed. I desperately want someone to pop up the hood and point to some corroded wiring and say, oh! there’s the problem! And I’d be better just as soon as they got those replacement wires in from Omaha, where they’ve been back ordered. There would be an identifiable problem, a cause, and a solution. But at the end of the day, my body is still a mystery.

It’s with this in mind that I have to remind myself that the human body, in general, is still a mystery. There are areas of the body that medicine still knows nothing about, or relatively little about. I found a disorder online the other day called chronic pelvic pain that had no discernible cause and absolutely no cure. I am so glad that I don’t have that! But it seems that this area of the body, anything below the heart isn’t as well known. I wonder if that is because it isn’t as profitable to figure out disorders in this area or maybe it’s because people can live with stomach infections and pain, but not without a heart.

I did finally get the doctor’s attention though. My body has created 3 cysts in one ovary. My ovary and fertility are now in serious jeopardy. My doctor had concern in his eyes and urgency in his voice. And that, for the first time in a long time, scared me.


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I would like to apologize to you, my faithful reader 😉 for not posting as often. My life seems to be strangely complicated and full for someone without a full time job. But here is the update on what’s going on with me. I promise to write a full blog on each of these topics sometime in the near future.

1. My backyard is nearly completion, with the concrete set to be poured this week. So many more decisions have been required of me and I’ve become friendly with a few of the workers (who are sweet enough to ask about my health every few days).

2. I’m tutoring 20+ hours a week, which actually requires some preparation. I have a different student for every hour and every student has a different set of problems or needs. Even my students who are coming in for the same class (AP European History) each have different requests of me each session! Argh!

3. As you all know my health has been awful the last few months and it continues to be so. I find myself making adjustments to my lifestyle in anticipation of the pain I know I will have. The vicadin is losing its effectiveness and I’m having to endure the pain all on my own more and more frequently. The doctor also diagnosed me with gastritis, meaning my stomach lining is inflamed, but it turns out it’s not an infection, it’s just been caused by stress and irritation due to the painkillers. So I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t.

Also, I’ll be going to the ObGyn sometime soon since it turns out I have not one ovarian cyst, but three. If you ever had a cyst you know the pain it can cause, now triple that. But more on that later.

4. Lastly, it’s Christmas. And with me not working for the last few months and only working part time now, money is tight. I want to shower my friends and family with gifts, but I have not the means to do it. As a result I am using every resource available to me, even gift cards I’d saved from the wedding and my birthday, to buy presents for people. It does make me feel better to buy someone the perfect gift, so I am happy to do it. It sooths my pain, both physical and mental.

Tomorrow I will report on what the doctor told me today and what that means for the future. Until, then I ask humbly that you remember me in your prayers.

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