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Posts Tagged ‘tired’

As a mom forced to go solo with her one year old, I am constantly looking for ways to simplify my life.  And while some of you environmentalists may cringe at this, but I have found the disposable wipe to be one of my primary weapons in my daily battle for efficiency.  Do I feel bad about the 3-4 wipes I dispose of daily? No, I absolutely do not.  Three extra wipes in a landfill is totally worth my sanity.

(If you are neither a mom, dad, or lazy you will not find this post entertaining or informative.  Just a warning!)

Wipe 1-Clorox Wipes:

Lemony fresh timesaver

Because my baby likes to self feed, his high chair gets mighty dirty.  C also has a habit of squeezing food in his hands or mushing and then spreading food around on his tray, especially when he is tired.  C is also typical in his demands to get out of the high chair as quickly as possible, leaving me with little time to clean his hands and tray before freeing him from his plastic prison.

My lifesaver here is the canister of Clorox wipes I keep on the buffet next to the high chair.  These wipes clean and disinfect (which is awesome because that slick banana oil that gets everywhere seems to seep in, and by the way, is disgusting).  They are also much thicker than other wipes I’ve used, meaning they’ll actually scrub off dried spaghetti sauce as well as whisking away bits of soggy Cheerios.  One wipe can typically take care of the whole tray, unless we’ve had pizza and then I just use his stained bib to wipe up the tray (it’s already ruined, so why not?).

Wipes 2–Pledge Wipes:

Handy and Dandy

It is no secret that I have little time in which to clean, nor is it any secret that I don’t actually like to clean.  OK, it’s no secret that I HATE to clean, but that doesn’t prevent me from being house proud.  In order to save a little face, I will take 5 minutes (because that’s all I have) to wipe down every surface in sight before someone comes over.  I usually only have one hand to do this with, given C’s propensity to “explore” while my back is turned, so he sits on my hip as I move from bookcase to counter to mantle, swiping each with these miracles of home care.

Wipes 3–Neutrogena Makeup Remover, Cleansing Towlettes Night Calming

Fresh faces just a wipe away

So this last one is mostly because I’m lazy, or maybe just because I’m worn down at the end of everyday, but there are days, many days in fact, that I just want to go to sleep rather than deal with a whole rigmarole of nightly cleaning.  Sometimes I just want to go to sleep.  After I’ve put Baby C to bed, if I’ve managed to put C to bed, the last thing I want to do is stand at the bathroom sink washing, cleaning, toning, moisturizing, etc.  I just want my fact to be clean so I can get some sleep!  Is that too much to ask?!?!

Apparently it is not.  Several makeup and skin care companies now make these convenient towlettes.  So for those nights when it is just too much to get out of bed one more time, I keep a little box of these towlettes on my nightstand.  I just grab one and wipe away the day.  30 seconds later, my face, and my conscience, are clean, ready for some much-needed rest.

It may not be exciting, but sometimes it’s the little things that make each day a little easier.

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I’m back! Our internet was down for roughly 24 hours and it was, well, rough.  And though the DVR is once again hooked up, so I can tape all my shows, there is no TV connected to it.  All my precious “stories” are just sitting there waiting for me.  I know there is some way to watch them on my computer from my DVR, but I’m just barely getting up to speed on watching things instantly on Netflix, so that’s out.  They’ll just have to wait.

Thank Goodness the internet is back up though so at least I can watch Netflix movies with Baby C, because if I had to watch Kung Fu Panda one more time I might do something drastic.

C has been in a particularly funky mood for the better part of 3 days and, for whatever reason, Kung Fu Panda seems to entertain him.  And frankly, I’d rather watch Kung Fu Panda than endless videos of kitties meowing (which has been the only other thing to entertain C).

So why all this drama, you ask?  Well it all began with C’s bathroom.  It needed to be updated if we are ever going to sell this house.  The blue and pink flower tile trim had to go.  Not only were the flowers ugly, but they looked cheap, and knowing my house and all the corners the builders cut, they probably were cheap, to go along with the cheap labor they employed to build that bathroom.

As our tile guy was demoing the old tile in the bathroom he kept informing me of little quirks he was finding: there was no backing to some of the tile, there was no insulation behind others, the tile on the sink had been directly put on to plywood, the mirror had been glued on incorrectly.  Apparently, the whole bathroom screamed amateur, making me glad we redid it before something somewhere started leaking (cause you know it would have, it was only a matter of time).

But the problem was that all these quirks meant extra time spent on demo, extending the length of the project (and the bill).  What was supposed to be 3 days turned into 5.  Sigh…

While this should not have been problematic under normal circumstances, because I decided to schedule the carpet in the master bedroom to be replaced yesterday (Wednesday), suddenly there was a problem.  My plan to have my lovely husband could help me move everything out of the room over the weekend didn’t happen since the tile guy was here all weekend, meaning I did most of the moving with some book moving assistance from my sister (we both came to the conclusion that I have way too many books–more on that tomorrow).  I put everything I could into my office, which then became uninhabitable, and since my husband’s office is essentially an overstuffed storage shed, we were down to just two rooms upstairs: the bare master bedroom and the baby’s room. Ugh.

Yesterday the carpet was installed, but the guys didn’t show up until 11am.  As they pulled into my driveway I thought, either these guys are really fast or I am totally screwed.

It ended up being that latter.

The carpet guys moved the heavy furniture into the baby’s room so they could lay the new carpet and keep the hallway clear for moving the carpet up and down the stairs.  While ingenious if I had not been home, this was incredibly awkward trying to change the baby while crawling over furniture to get to the changing table.  After the second time I did that, I changed him downstairs from his diaper bag instead.

The furniture arrangement upstairs also meant that C had to take naps downstairs with carpet guys banging on the floor directly overhead.  Add to this my two curious and protective dogs and it was an extremely long day…which didn’t end until the carpet guys left…at 7:30…pm.  Double ugh!

Both Baby C and I are cranky and tired at this point.  He was actually overly tired and thus refusing to cooperate in any fashion.  So the bath is forgone, the bed time story is forgone, the bottle is nearly forgone, and finally the cold empty bedroom is forgone.  In the end, I took C back downstairs, popped in Kung Fu Panda (for the 3 time in 2 days) and forced my son to drink his bottle while we lay snuggled on the couch.  The dogs were also tired, cold and frustrated for they soon joined me on the couch (trying to squeeze under the blanket as well), until all four of us were in one large pile, with me on the bottom.  C sleeping on my chest, Dodger curled between my legs, Penny at my side with her head in my lap.

It was a virtual Mommy-love fest and it was exactly what I needed.

(ps The new carpet looks great! But anything would have been an improvement from our dog/coffee/baby/dirty husband stained old one.  Yuck!  So much nicer now!)

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In re-starting this blog I wanted to give people an honest look at motherhood, the good and the bad, the successes and the failures.  With that in mind, I write today’s post.

I had a meltdown.  After a long week of putting on the brave face and saying, we’ll get through this, this will pass, etc., I finally had a breakdown.

Baby C has been challenging this week, to say the least.  I’ve had an average of 3-4 hours of sleep per night.  And I’ve had virtually no support.  My husband has been completely absent, either at work or so tired at home he was asleep or zoned out.  My cousin did help me on thursday for a few hours, but C was so challenging that I spent a lot of my time with the two of them.  I spent the rest of my time rushing from one chore to the next: piles of laundry, putting toys away, writing/mailing thank you cards, etc.  So by friday I was completely exhausted.

I had hoped my husband would take the day off, since his company stole his vacation last week, but no luck.  Instead, he went to work cranky.

On the home-front, C had a terrible day.  He was incredibly tired from not sleeping well all week either.  He didn’t want to eat cause his gums hurt.  He didn’t want to nap.  He didn’t want to play.  He just wanted to cry.  So all day I tried not to pull my hair out as my baby cried.  Sure we had short bursts of play time, when he was occupied and amused for a few minutes, but they didn’t last long.

I tried all my usual tricks.  Nothing worked.

By 6pm I was done.  Done!  My husband wouldn’t come home from work and I’m stuck in LA far from my family.  So I called my parents’ house crying, begging for someone to please come up and help me.  I spent the next half an hour watching C alternating between playing and crying, while I silently cried, trying not to go into hysterics.

My mom and husband showed up at the same time.  I silently handed over the baby, made his dinner, and locked myself in my bathroom.  I took a very long lavender-scented bath.  Even then, through the walls I could hear C crying. My nerves stayed on edge until at last I got dressed, made C a bottle and he finally fell asleep.  It still took me an hour to de-stress enough to sleep.

I’d like to tell you that it’s all ok today.  I’d like to say that everything’s fine.  It’s not and that’s the plain truth.  I’m not looking for sympathy.  I just want to be honest and let you know, motherhood isn’t always easy.  It’s rough and it’s ok if mommies have meltdowns.  The babies get to, why shouldn’t we?

I’m going to try and indulge myself in a few things today: chocolate, shopping, a nap, maybe even a pedicure.  Maybe this will make it better, maybe I just need a break.

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My attention to this blog, as well as many other things has faltered of late. I’m not reading as often as I usually do, my interest in books has flagged. My usual attention to household duties is distracted and everywhere dust bunnies are appearing, laundry is piling up, dry cleaning sits in the back seat of my car. Even my fastidious beauty and fashion habits fell to the wayside. I no longer apply all my creams and lotions at night or in the morning. I bought a pretty new purse that I did bother to put my old things into it until this weekend! What is wrong with me?

And I realized, it’s that time of year. Usually two or three times a year I get a very bad case of wanderlust. My mother-in-law attributes this to the fact that I come from a long line of sailors, including my great great grandfather, captain of his own ship. Since then, at least one in every generation has become a sailor, until these last two. Maybe it skips generations, or maybe others in my family feel the same urges. But all I know, is that a couple times a year all I want to do is go.

Go where? It honestly doesn’t matter.  I want to sleep in a bed that isn’t mine and wake up to a room I don’t have to clean.  I want to eat at free breakfast buffets and swim in heated pools.  I want the flutter in my stomach as I board a plane going anywhere.  I want the excitement of seeing new things, visiting different attractions, wandering unknown streets.

I spend a good part of every day thinking of new places to go.  I fantasize about trips to exotic, romantic, or mundane places.  I’ve never been to the Northwest or any where in the South.  I can easily imagine myself in driving from small town to town along some dusty, lonesome highway, staying in eccentric bed and breakfasts or chitchy motels.  I can clearly envision myself sitting at a counter in some far off place, sipping coffee while I sample the local specials and pour over guide books.  I can see myself on the move.

So where does these day dreams leave me most days?  With hours lost and wasted, chores ignored, writing left half done.  But at least I have those fantasies.  At least I have my imagination in which to wander distant shores.  Until I can move where the wind takes me, I’ll contain my lust to dreams.

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Bad Day

I’m exhausted today due to my mystery illness acting up. I’ve been in pain for almost 24 hours now. I take Vicadin to help with the pain, but I think my body is becoming used to the medication, because it doesn’t seem to work as well as it did before. It still makes me very tired, a little loopy, and nauseous.

I’m still waiting for test results to come back in, hopefully I’ll hear tomorrow. I’m growing more and more sure that there is something wrong with my “girl parts,” as my cousin said.

So for today, I’m going to snuggle with my dogs, watch reruns of Law and Order, and pray that someone figures out what’s wrong with me.

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